vendredi, mars 26, 2010

Ce que je dois à ma mère

J’ai la chance d’avoir pour mère l’exemple type de ce qu’une femme doit être. Je lui dois mon style de vie, ma façon de penser, d’être, de vouloir, d’aimer, de me donner, de savoir, de vouloir, de travailler, d’espérer, de croire, de persister, de cuisiner, de m’habiller, de parler, de me tenir, de réfléchir, d’être forte, d’accepter ma faiblesse, parfois, de rire, de marcher, d’exister, de réussir, d’échouer, de me relever, de sourire, de danser, d’écrire, d’être passionner, de savoir être sœur, fille et amie… je lui dois le fait de respirer. Et surtout de vivre.
Je ne sais pas par où commencer. Mais je voudrais écrire mes pensées. Un peu par gratitude. Un peu par envie. Un peu parce qu’elle me manque. Et surtout par amour.
J’écris en mon nom. Et au nom de ma sœur. Qui a la chance de partager la même maman. Sans pour autant diviser son amour. Mais qui, au contraire, partage mon bonheur en l’amplifiant.

Maman, tu as su me prouver qu’une femme pouvait avoir une carrière et réussir sa famille. Tu m’as appris qu’il était possible de travailler à plein temps. Et se dévouer quand même entièrement à ses enfants. Tu as toujours su mettre sur notre table les plus délicieux des plats. Tu as su nous donner le goût des bonnes choses. Des gâteaux, des pizzas, des madeleines, du plus bon riz au poulet… Que ces choses me manquent. Tu m’as appris à savoir gérer mon temps dans la cuisine. Et cuisiner cent plats dans un temps record.

Tu as aussi le temps de danser. Et de prendre des cours. Je t’envie ce talent. Et je t’admire.

Tu m’as appris que le prix des choses se mesurent par leur utilité. Qu’une robe bon marché achetée en soldes était très chère si jamais portée. Et qu’une chose chère était bon marchée quand trop utilisée.

Tu m’as appris le sens de la fidélité. Malgré ta beauté sans égale tu as su être fidèle à mon père. Tu m’as appris qu’il était encore possible de nos jours d’aimer pour la vie.

Tu m’as appris que je pouvais tout faire. Tout ce que mon imagination ose imaginer. Tu m’as appris que l’audace était le secret. Qu’il fallait poursuivre ses rêves et ses ambitions. Et que la persévérance ne pouvait que payer.

Tu m’as appris que la meilleure amie que j’allais toujours avoir était ma sœur. Et c’est vrai. Et que notre meilleure amie, elle et moi, c’est toi. A jamais.

Tu m’as appris d’être indépendante. Et de ne jamais compter sur un homme. Tu m’as appris la valeur hors de prix de l’indépendance. Et grâce a toi je vole. Je plane.

Tu m’as appris que l’on pouvait être douce et sauvage à la fois. Parce que tu l’es.

Tu m’as appris que l’élégance et la grâce se puisent à l’intérieur. Et que peu importe si l’on se vête d’un sac en plastic. Toi la plus gracieuse des femmes, à la démarche d’une ballerine.

Tu m’as appris à porter la tête bien haute. Toujours. Et je ne puis t’exprimer la beauté de la vue du ciel. Sa beauté quand il est noir, gris, nuageux et bleu.

Tu m’as appris le sens de l’amour du vrai. Cet amour fou qui accepte la distance au prix du bonheur de l’autre. Merci de me laisser poursuivre mes ambitions. Et d’accepter la souffrance de nous savoir loin… tant que l’on est heureux. Merci de ne jamais avoir été égoïste. Merci de ne m’avoir jamais laissée me sentir coupable. Merci de me laisser partir.

Tu m’as appris le sens de l’humour. Toi qui ris presque toujours. Toi qui ris de tout.

Maman, tu m’as appris de me détacher des choses superficielles. Et de reconnaitre ce qui compte vraiment. Toi, la plus vraie des mamans.

Tu m’as appris à tout oser. Et de m’armer de ta témérité. Tu m’apprends encore tous les jours. Et c’est à toi que je voudrais ressembler.

Ce texte ne peut prétendre te décrire. Tu es si complexe de perfection. Mais ce texte voudrait simplement te dire merci. Et puis… je t’aime.

Je me permets de le signer Carol et Karen. Deux femmes en quête de ce que tu es.

5 commentaires:

LeeO a dit…

I have read many Hallmark cards and poems... and I always thought that they were too cheezy....too emotional...too exaggerated. The fact of writing stuff during mothers day didnt make sense to me as I hated doing so just for 1 day (as if the 364 days left were not eligible for that)
I guess I hated these poems since the day I was obliged to learn a lousy poem in "12eme" class by heart.
I found your page randomly on Blogger. Since it was all pink I thought "ok lets see what this legally blonde has to write"
When I read the title I smiled because I knew I was gonna drop off after the 3rd line.
I never thought I would actually finish reading all the paragraph. I swear I didnt.
Although what you wrote relates to a female...I really felt every single line.
The text is sooo real and personal...bullshit free. I felt as if I was saying these words and not reading them. It made me think what a great mother you must have who inspired all these words in you. But above all, it made me think what I great mother I have who made me relate to these words.
Im not trying to compliment you just so that you think that the pink color had an effect on me
But I really wanted to tell you that your words echoed strongly in the heart of a random reader somewhere on this planet.
For that you have my deepest respect.

PS: I don’t promise that I will read all your blog (u started in 2006 for God’s sake!! :))…but it surely looks interesting.

LeeO a dit…

I have read many Hallmark cards and poems... and I always thought that they were too cheezy....too emotional...too exaggerated. The fact of writing stuff during mothers day didnt make sense to me as I hated doing so just for 1 day (as if the 364 days left were not eligible for that)
I guess I hated these poems since the day I was obliged to learn a lousy poem in "12eme" class by heart.
I found your page randomly on Blogger. Since it was all pink I thought "ok lets see what this legally blonde has to write"
When I read the title I smiled because I knew I was gonna drop off after the 3rd line.
I never thought I would actually finish reading all the paragraph. I swear I didnt.
Although what you wrote relates to a female...I really felt every single line.
The text is sooo real and personal...bullshit free. I felt as if I was saying these words and not reading them. It made me think what a great mother you must have who inspired all these words in you. But above all, it made me think what I great mother I have who made me relate to these words.
Im not trying to compliment you just so that you think that the pink color had an effect on me
But I really wanted to tell you that your words echoed strongly in the heart of a random reader somewhere on this planet.
For that you have my deepest respect.

PS: I don’t promise that I will read all your blog (u started in 2006 for God’s sake!! :))…but it surely looks interesting.

LeeO a dit…

I have read many Hallmark cards and poems... and I always thought that they were too cheezy....too emotional...too exaggerated. The fact of writing stuff during mothers day didnt make sense to me as I hated doing so just for 1 day (as if the 364 days left were not eligible for that)
I guess I hated these poems since the day I was obliged to learn a lousy poem in "12eme" class by heart.
I found your page randomly on Blogger. Since it was all pink I thought "ok lets see what this legally blonde has to write"
When I read the title I smiled because I knew I was gonna drop off after the 3rd line.
I never thought I would actually finish reading all the paragraph. I swear I didnt.
Although what you wrote relates to a female...I really felt every single line.
The text is sooo real and personal...bullshit free. I felt as if I was saying these words and not reading them. It made me think what a great mother you must have who inspired all these words in you. But above all, it made me think what I great mother I have who made me relate to these words.
Im not trying to compliment you just so that you think that the pink color had an effect on me
But I really wanted to tell you that your words echoed strongly in the heart of a random reader somewhere on this planet.
For that you have my deepest respect.

PS: I don’t promise that I will read all your blog (u started in 2006 for God’s sake!! :))…but it surely looks interesting.

LeeO a dit…

I have read many Hallmark cards and poems... and I always thought that they were too cheezy....too emotional...too exaggerated. The fact of writing stuff during mothers day didnt make sense to me as I hated doing so just for 1 day (as if the 364 days left were not eligible for that)
I guess I hated these poems since the day I was obliged to learn a lousy poem in "12eme" class by heart.
I found your page randomly on Blogger. Since it was all pink I thought "ok lets see what this legally blonde has to write"
When I read the title I smiled because I knew I was gonna drop off after the 3rd line.
I never thought I would actually finish reading all the paragraph. I swear I didnt.
Although what you wrote relates to a female...I really felt every single line.
The text is sooo real and personal...bullshit free. I felt as if I was saying these words and not reading them. It made me think what a great mother you must have who inspired all these words in you. But above all, it made me think what I great mother I have who made me relate to these words.
Im not trying to compliment you just so that you think that the pink color had an effect on me
But I really wanted to tell you that your words echoed strongly in the heart of a random reader somewhere on this planet.
For that you have my deepest respect.

PS: I don’t promise that I will read all your blog (u started in 2006 for God’s sake!! :))…but it surely looks interesting.

ayat_karen a dit…

Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I am truly touched. I am glad you enjoyed it. Glad someone at least is reading me.
Thank you for taking the time to read. And to let me know you did.
Karen.